Stepping Away From Social Media

Stepping Away From Social Media

        So, for the past few months I stopped posting on my main feed on Instagram. I used to upload almost daily, I loved the feeling of watching the follower count go up. It was like a game. Eventually, I began to fall out of love with it. Picture taking was repetitive and boring, as was the editing process. So, I stopped temporarily and I don’t regret it.

I also moved in with my then - fiancé and when I talk to someone I like to put my phone away and just focus on them. It’s just what I like to do. Talking to someone will always be more fulfilling and engaging than staring at a phone screen. My phone plan also expired and I needed to switch SIM cards and all that, but of course procrastination is a thing. So I couldn’t connect my phone to mobile data. If I was out I couldn't whip out my phone to fill the silence or do a quick Insta Story which then turns into checking everyone else's Insta too!

        At first I just felt awkward. Like an extension of me was missing, nothing essential, but like that feeling you get after you take of a ring after having it on for a long time. A sort of a ‘ghost’ feeling.

        Now I’ve had my phone connected for a while, but you know what? I don’t use it nearly as much as I did. I enjoy being disconnected from the online jabber and living in the present moment. I’m more clear headed, less stressed. I enjoy the silence of looking out of the train window, of looking around around a room while I’m waiting for someone. You know most books begin when the protagonist does or sees something extraordinary. But, you know, you’re not going to see anything outside of your bubble if you don’t look up. We hear a lot about ‘living in the moment’ or being ‘present’ lately. And I think this is the first step. If you’re so busy editing the picture of flowers on your phone are you truly focused on the flowers in front of you? Have you smelt them? Touched the petals? Probably not, you were too busy thinking about editing the picture.

        I’ve read 9 books this year, and listened to I don't know how many podcasts! Each of these has given me a sense of fulfilment. More than I could have gotten by just scrolling with my thumbs. I doubt I would have even read that many if I hadn’t reduced my social media, because it’s easier to open an app and just start scrolling than opening a book and actually using our noggins.

        I’m not hating on social media. Being connected isn’t a ‘bad’ thing. As long as we are most importantly connected with ourselves and the people around us. You might argue that you use social media to stay in contact with long distance friends or family. Which is a good thing. However, do you need to know what they’re doing that very moment? Or can you wait a little while? The same post is still going to be there. If you’re having a day out with family, going for a walk with a friend. Right there that person should be your priority. Nobody likes feeling second best to a little electronic device.

        ‘But Louise you don’t understand; my friend just had a baby.’ Well that’s wonderful! Maybe leave a quick comment saying congratulations. Then at a quiet moment by yourself message them or call them, giving them a real heartfelt congratulations. ‘Louise! A family member has just died!’ Take a moment to maybe do a remembrance post. But perhaps don’t just rely on social media. Actually message or call family and friends to grieve properly. Meaningful and deep conversations are so important.

        Even the way we celebrate and grieve has been affected by social media. And by no means am I saying I don’t think we should use it. I am saying though we need to put more emphasis on what’s important. Your friend isn’t going to remember the brief comment you left congratulating them about graduating. But they are going to remember if you messaged them, called them or went on a trip to celebrate!

        Give yourself a little task. No, you don’t need to stop using social media, but maybe give yourself an allotted time to spend per day. For example you can use social media for an hour every day. Now, you can use it all in one go, or spread it throughout the day. While going out on a walk with your loved one don’t take out your phone every few minutes. Put all your focus on them, they’ll thank you for it. Everyone likes being the centre of attention. I truly believe this will strengthen the relationships that actually truly matter to us and help us mentally too.

        I’m going to say once more. I do not hate social media. I’m not saying we should stop using it. I used it just before writing this paragraph! I do think I'll start posting on my feed again sometime. Social media is fun, engaging and useful. But maybe just, maybe we’ve stopped living in the moment, and have left the relationships that truly matter to us in a social media ‘bin’ and we’ve stopped developing them. It’s up to you to decide that for yourself and change it, if that’s what really matters to you. Because if it truly matters to you, it will change.